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retrospective/introspective
the past 5½ weeks have been wonderful. karaoke (x4), steamboat (x2), a dvd night, an unforgettable 3-day Gold Coast trip, 嘉樂's all-nighter farewell, catching up with people i hadn't seen in ages (Queenie, Phil, Tian..), 2 movies, fish markets, peer network (includes indispensable pub crawl..), and Fai-Julie-Melody-Theresa's combined b'day bash/mini-reunion. i can confidently say i've had a great time and thoroughly enjoyed myself (even if my bank balance has suffered tremendously...)
i hope i've come through the 5½ week break a wiser person.
but truth is, i'm jaded. reawakened by the harsh jolt of reality - of farewells, of responsibilities, of maturity. i knew it was inevitable, but university commitments invariably distracts from such ponderings.
and now that i'm seeing people graduate/soon to graduate/leaving Sydney/soon to leave Sydney, reality's hurting. i'm still trying to get used to 嘉樂 not being in Sydney anymore.. but jedi leaving soon as well ?! taurus possibly leaving when he graduates ?! (..it's so ironic that i get to really know you guys during a "farewell" trip, it's almost laughable..)
matt's leaving for scotland in less than a month, melody's leaving for HK in 4 months, and theresa's leaving for Canada in 5 months.. THAT'S REALLY DAMN SOON?!?! ..shit this is really disorientating............
it's not that i can't/won't accept change.. routine frustrates/bores me no end.
but being where i am now, i realise how lucky i've been. i'm glad i've been protected for so long from responsibility, and thankful that there are so many opportunities ahead. i'm trying to cherish everything i have now, but looking into the future and seeing more farewells, friends going separate paths.. i know i'll be missing this. yes, i'm sure we'll cross paths again, but it's just not the same.
夕陽無限好 卻是近黃昏
高峰的快感 剎那失陷 風花雪月不肯等人 要獻便獻吻
(for some odd reason, i can't get enough of hkpop right now..)
